that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
