More tranny stories later!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
