yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
