I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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