people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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