chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
