Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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