Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize