As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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