I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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