Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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