any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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