dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
