ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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