I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize