apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
