how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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