i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have fence marks all over my body
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
