You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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