I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
