So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
