Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
