Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bring me that man meat
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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