I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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