Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
