Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize