Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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