it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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