There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He has the fingertips of a God
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