I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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