i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
