the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize