and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
