You just made me feel so damn special
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
