wrigley field is MILF paradise
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize