thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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