We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
