Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
