I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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