are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
