i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
