Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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