Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
