I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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