Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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