That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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