do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
