I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
