Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
