The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
