Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
