so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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